Published August 14, 2010
Dear Atlanta,
Star-speckled towers:
Proud and beautiful,
You outshine the night sky.
The darkness cannot dim your brilliance;
It can only find its way inside.
Dear Atlanta,
Foam-swirling sea of humanity,
Sweep the million lives along
To drown in your golden splendour.
You stretch out stained glass arms
To embrace all earth's races,
And draw them into your endless maze.
Dear Atlanta,
Sing me to sleep tonight
With your tales of grief and hate and love,
The music of centuries.
Countless voices whispering in the caverns of your mind,
A new generation chanting its battle cry:
Listen.
Dear Atlanta,
Mystery, Babylon the Great,
Scarlet enigma bathed in your own blood,
And the blood of your children,
While the golden stars burn
On your silver-gray castles.
Yours is power, beauty, death,
Resurrection.
Dear Atlanta,
Can I do anything but love you?
You hold me in your glowing hands,
Hands that destroy and redeem,
Bind and release.
You will never release me,
And I don't want to go.
Holding me to your bleeding iron heart,
You hold my very soul.
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Hi there! Here is one of the three reveiws you asked for. So, first of all, I really liked it. I'm a little behind: atlanta is the lost undersea city, right? Or is my brain just draining away during this summer? Well, anyway, it had really nice imaginary. The way you described everthing really captured the feel of it. Nit-pick time now.
"Dear Atlanta, Sometimes repetition is nice, but I thnk you say this too much.
Star-speckled towers:
Proud and beautiful,
You outshine the night sky.
The darkness cannot dim your brilliance; Nice way to put it!
It can only find its way inside.
Dear Atlanta,
Foam-swirling sea of humanity,
Sweep the million lives along
To drown in your golden splendour.
You stretch out stained glass arms
To embrace all earth's races,
And draw them into your endless maze.
Dear Atlanta,
Sing me to sleep tonight
With your tales of grief and hate and love,
The music of centuries.
Countless voices whispering in the caverns of your mind,
A new generation chanting its battle cry:
Listen. What is all this about music suddenly?
Dear Atlanta,
Mystery, Babylon the Great,
Scarlet enigma bathed in your own blood,
And the blood of your children,
While the golden stars burn
On your silver-gray castles.
Yours is power, beauty, death,
Resurrection. Nice way to tell about all the battles. I'm starting to think I don't really know what Atlanta is, but if it is an undersea city, shouldn't it be peaceful?
Dear Atlanta,
Can I do anything but love you?
You hold me in your glowing hands,
Hands that destroy and redeem,
Bind and release.
You will never release me,
And I don't want to go.
Holding me to your bleeding iron heart,
You hold my very soul. "This line just sounds weird when you read it out loud.
OK, nice job. I really liked the way you seperated each topic into stanzas. Great job over all. Bye!
-Cammie
Wow, this is really powerful and I liked the repition of the "Dear Atlanta", it gave a good structure to the poem
Wow, this is really good!
~xX~Forsakinshadow~Xx~